Tim Hortons and Mr. Deeds

How many times does a guy have to sit at Tim Hortons past midnight before it starts sinking in that he could probably be doing something more worth while with his time?

Obviously at least one more time.

Things have been a little weird lately...not weird in a bad way, but weird in a "why do I seem to always seem to go back on what I say I'm going to do" kind of way. I'm sure if you've read any of my blog you've realized that I kind of fell off the movie review wagon...well more like crashed the wagon and lit it on fire...but I digress. I can't seem to stay motivated long enough to actually follow through with any personal goals that I try and set for myself. 

For example, last month I was offered a job in Buffalo with a fast-growing company in a very small (very profitable) niche industry in the pharmaceutical and diagnostic research products world. It would have paid more than I currently make at the school I work for but it was mostly accounting and book-keeping work which isn't exactly the calling I'm looking for. So I turned the job down and instead decided to take a "promotion" at the school and work with even younger children than I currently am (I work in Middle School). This new job would pay me slightly more (pending a "possible" union raise and contingent on me getting my teacher assistant certification)....Three days later I decided to change my mind again and stay in the Middle School...right where I started....thus the moral of the story was (and seems to be) that I have issues with committing to anything...even if it will somehow better my situation.

So I've come to the conclusion that one of two things need to happen:

1) I need to start setting smaller goals for myself and work my way up to the big leagues
  -or-
2) I need to create a support team to follow me around everywhere I go constantly shouting motivational phrases (reminds me of that Subway commercial...hmm...)

At any rate, something needs to change and I think it needs to be my attitude toward "work" in the first place and what I feel "work" should mean to me. Should it be something that I do to pay my bills and to merely "get by" or should it be something that fulfills my life and gives purpose to getting up in the morning? Something that puts gas in my Chevy or something that puts gas in the metaphorical car that will take me to a place of self-worth and accomplishment at the end of each day of my life. For the past 5 years of my life I've been trying to figure out what has been blocking my path and I'm starting to realize that the biggest thing in my way is me... 

I'm reminded of a line from Mr. Deeds where Adam Sandler said, "I bet if we ran into the sixth grade versions of ourselves right now, they would kick our asses..."

That line is perfect. I think I'm gonna try and keep that in mind going forward. It's a small step, but maybe it's the small step that I need to get this ball rolling for good.