For starters. we had a mid-summer's halloween party this past saturday. Rather than putting some creative thought into some robot costume or a stupid pun I decided to go exceptionally original and go with the ever-award-winning and stylistic choice of the “woman in the red dress”. Needless to say the excursion to the local Good Will was a fairly interesting one since two of my other friends (both guys) decided to do the same. After what only seemed like hours in the dressing rooms shouting things like "this shows too much leg" and "I look fat in this one" or "I don't know how they can do this more than once" we finally made up our minds and moved on to accessories (note that will probably be the only time I will ever use that phrase when talking about clothing again). Not only did all three of us find high heels that fit, they all matched our dresses perfectly (not that it matters but c'mon, I mean, if you're a guy and you decide that your best costume option is a dress, that's a pretty firm decision that you need to follow through on).
So I guess it sort of goes without saying that we were definitely turning heads at the party, especially when everyone noticed that we were actually using our purses to carry our phones and cigars (where else were we gonna put them?!). The night was pretty amazing for the most part and I was surprised at how quickly I learned to dance in heels, but things weren't going to stay that way for long.
At around 1 o'clock in the morning, my friend Nicole who had dressed as the color red (along with several others dressed as colors of the color wheel) fell in the middle of the dance party. I'm sure the fact that she had roller skates on had nothing to do with her falling but then again I'm no detective. Thinking her butt was probably in worse shape than anything else I knelt down and asked her, half-laughing, if she was alright. "No, something's definitely wrong" was all she had to say for it was about that time I noticed her wrist now very closely resembled the letter "S". Within 5 minutes we had her skates off, a bag of ice on her wrist, and her in our friend Claire's truck on the way to the hospital with me in the back end of the cab.
From the moment we walked through the sliding door of the ER I knew it was going to be an interesting experience. The girl in registration did her best not to laugh in our faces when we approached the window, but the awkward smile she cracked gave her away. After getting Nicole into her room and having the doctor take a look at her wrist they ordered some X-rays to be taken. When they came for her Claire had already almost completely passed out and I was trying to keep at least one eye open since it was now around 2:30 in the morning. After they brought her back and after more waiting around for the X-rays to come back from radiology the doctor came in and confirmed that she had broken her wrist pretty badly. Even though she wasn't in that much pain at the time she had managed to break it directly across the joint and again across the first break. This was going to need a specialist. They called him and woke him up and within the next 20 minutes he was there in the room with us. By this time it was around 3:15ish.... and I was still wearing that bright red dress. That's right. The specialist told us he had seen some “weird shit” in his life before coming in on calls but this one took the cake.
The night went on in similar fashion I suppose for after a run to Tim Horton's and a quick clothes change on my part we left the hospital with Nicole in a cast all dopey from her meds at around 5 in the morning. Since none of us had seen the sun rise over the ocean yet while here in Maine we decided to go to the beach for a photo op since we were already up. Well, following suit for the events thus far, our other friend Trey, managed to leave her purse at the beach and it was stolen. I'm sure that the man in the green pickup that was sitting there the whole time we were there had nothing to do with it...but yet again I'm no detective.
So long story short, I don't think I'm gonna wear a dress for a while.
