It's a '78

I don't have much to report today as I spent the majority of it sitting around the apartment. I kind of felt bad considering the weather was perfect. Low humidity, blues skies, temperature in the mid 70s. Today is "Throwback Thursday" on Instagram so I decided to do something different. Rather than posting an old photo I decided to take a photo of my "throwback" motorcycle. My 1978 Suzuki GS750. 

It was my dad's pride and joy from the day he bought it new. Almost completely original, the only thing new on her is the seat cover and the battery and I NEVER remember her EVER being dirty. That bike was (and still is) spotless.

 Now, by the time I was old enough to drive my father had already purchased a new bike (1999 Kawasaki Vulcan Nomad 1500) so it was no surprise that he would eventually give the Suzuki to me. So for the past eight years it's been in my care. It is now MY pride and joy. It still makes me smile when I see people stop to take at look at it and then again when they say to me, "That's the best looking '78 I've seen in a long time!". I'll usually call my Dad and tell him when that happens and I can almost feel the pride erupting from him through the phone. That bike has always been a strong glue between us, and I hope that never changes. I still remember my Dad setting my sister and I on the gas tank in front of him and giving us rides around the back yard when we were barely three years old (see photo below). And now here I am over twenty years later still riding that machine...man how time passes...

The "P" word

Working these overnight shifts is really starting to screw with me a little. Worked from 10:15 last night until 9:45 this morning and then slept until 3:30 this afternoon...good thing that's my only shift this week (for the moment). I guess the best thing about working those shifts is that you've got nothing but time on your hands to get a lot of things done (even if those things are watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, How To Train Your Dragon, and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows....don't judge me). 

Of course there is a lot of time left to just thinking about things too...like perhaps what other types of work one can find so that they don't have to work ridiculous hours like that anymore...which got me thinking...

I just turned 26 last month and I've been trying to find "the job" ever since I graduated from college....what the beans happened?! I know I'm not getting any younger (although I'm not "old") and I understand that some people take entire lifetimes trying to figure out what they want to do but let's be honest, anyone who knows me knows that, in my world, patience is a song by Guns N' Roses. So that's just not going to cut it. 

Now I've been doing some serious thought over the past about the idea of going back to school and for what and clearly what I want to do with my life plays hand-in-hand with that decision which is I guess why I've been so concerned about what I want to do with my life. I really want to go back to school but I don't want to waste anymore time than I feel that I already have (I went to school for 4 years for Film Production Design and I've been working in the youth services field for the past three years = wasted time). I supposed saying that those experiences have been wasted time wouldn't be fair since I love the work I do and it's a very fulfilling job but everyone has had that job that they love that they know isn't what they want to do for the rest of their life and that's what this is to me. 

The dilemma is finding something that I can love, and feel fulfilled doing, that is going to bring home the bacon (because let's face it, my student loan debt isn't going away anytime soon). 

So here's my proposal that I hope to see through to somewhat of an end (or at least a monetarily beneficial end): I would like to design and development mobile apps. I mean, that's a pretty big market right now and it's not going away anytime soon. With a little brushing up on my design skills set and some training in code and iOS among other things, I could be well on my way to being my own boss, working from wherever I feel like sitting my butt down, and utilizing the creative drive that I know is buried somewhere under the past 4 years of filler jobs. 

It's time for me to decide if this is going to be a possibility and perhaps it'll open the door to some motivation and excitement in my life. I miss those two things...very much. So for now I'll leave it at that: a concept, an idea, a (dare I say it) PLAN.

That having been said I've got a few cold friends waiting for me. Until next time kiddos.

(P.S. Aren't my friends pretty?)

'merica!!

I recently read a post by writer Mark Manson titled "10 Things Most Americans Don't Know About America". In it Mark talks about how other people view American Culture and how far off most of our perceptions are about those views. To quote him specifically:

"Remember that immature girl in high school, who every little thing that happened to her meant that someone either hated her or was obsessed with her; who thought every teacher who ever gave her a bad grade was being totally unfair and everything good that happened to her was because of how amazing she was? Yeah, we’re that immature high school girl."

As I read this I couldn't help but think how right he is and how it really shouldn't come as a shock to us that people outside the U.S. really don't care at all for the most part. I mean, I was walking through Tops Markets this morning and right smack in the middle of the bakery was an enormous display of bulk Halloween candy.....on August 28th....

...Halloween is over two months away! Children don't even start school in this country for another week and we're already throwing Halloween at them? I'm really surprised that Walmart hasn't just developed a concept store where every department represents a different holiday. They could even theme it after "The Nightmare Before Christmas" with the different doors for each holiday in the middle of the forest...and when they checked out, Oogie Boogie could be there to shove them into a drain pipe leading to his lair and their ultimate demise....I feel I've gotten off track here.

I guess I just wanted to vent some frustrations with my own country and just add to the endless pool of evidence proving what the rest of the world already knows...that we are the immature high school girl of the world. Maybe someday we'll grow up.

Tim Hortons and Mr. Deeds

How many times does a guy have to sit at Tim Hortons past midnight before it starts sinking in that he could probably be doing something more worth while with his time?

Obviously at least one more time.

Things have been a little weird lately...not weird in a bad way, but weird in a "why do I seem to always seem to go back on what I say I'm going to do" kind of way. I'm sure if you've read any of my blog you've realized that I kind of fell off the movie review wagon...well more like crashed the wagon and lit it on fire...but I digress. I can't seem to stay motivated long enough to actually follow through with any personal goals that I try and set for myself. 

For example, last month I was offered a job in Buffalo with a fast-growing company in a very small (very profitable) niche industry in the pharmaceutical and diagnostic research products world. It would have paid more than I currently make at the school I work for but it was mostly accounting and book-keeping work which isn't exactly the calling I'm looking for. So I turned the job down and instead decided to take a "promotion" at the school and work with even younger children than I currently am (I work in Middle School). This new job would pay me slightly more (pending a "possible" union raise and contingent on me getting my teacher assistant certification)....Three days later I decided to change my mind again and stay in the Middle School...right where I started....thus the moral of the story was (and seems to be) that I have issues with committing to anything...even if it will somehow better my situation.

So I've come to the conclusion that one of two things need to happen:

1) I need to start setting smaller goals for myself and work my way up to the big leagues
  -or-
2) I need to create a support team to follow me around everywhere I go constantly shouting motivational phrases (reminds me of that Subway commercial...hmm...)

At any rate, something needs to change and I think it needs to be my attitude toward "work" in the first place and what I feel "work" should mean to me. Should it be something that I do to pay my bills and to merely "get by" or should it be something that fulfills my life and gives purpose to getting up in the morning? Something that puts gas in my Chevy or something that puts gas in the metaphorical car that will take me to a place of self-worth and accomplishment at the end of each day of my life. For the past 5 years of my life I've been trying to figure out what has been blocking my path and I'm starting to realize that the biggest thing in my way is me... 

I'm reminded of a line from Mr. Deeds where Adam Sandler said, "I bet if we ran into the sixth grade versions of ourselves right now, they would kick our asses..."

That line is perfect. I think I'm gonna try and keep that in mind going forward. It's a small step, but maybe it's the small step that I need to get this ball rolling for good.