let's just put it this way...

Yet another old blog from my myspace.

Sometimes... I seem to start every thought with 'sometimes' anymore. when i think about it though, sometimes doesn't really describe anything. sometimes is liking saying 'sometimes i breathe air' or 'sometimes i am a human' or 'sometimes i miss something' which is what this blog is about i guess. i don't sometimes miss being around my friends. i don't sometimes miss having that feeling of waking up to the sun shining in the window and looking out to see the ground covered in a blanket of cold white. i don't sometimes miss that feeling of having to wait for my parents to get out of bed before i can go into the living room to start looking for easter eggs. i don't sometimes wish that i was laying on the hood of my car at 2am with my guitar watching the night sky by myself. i don't sometimes wish that the biggest of my worries could yet again be whether or not i found a good enough stick to use as a sword while exploring the woods around my aunt's house during the summer. never do these thoughts sometimes cross my mind. never do i sometimes wish that i could take that trip again to thousand islands and go camping for a week waking up everyday to my father drinking his coffee watching the lake wash up on the shoreline and then see me and smile because i'm there enjoying the day with him. Never do i sometimes think about these things or sometimes wish i could do them again...i always think about them, i always wish for them. i'm not gonna try and make people feel sorry for me by saying how hard i had it growing up in an attempt to make them think i'm tough or that i'm stronger than them. my childhood was amazing and as much as i feel bad for those people that didn't have it so hot growing up, i'm not gonna regret telling the whole fucking world about how great mine was because in all honesty, if it wasn't for every single god damn thing that happened to me growing up where i did, when i did, how i did, and with who i did, i wouldn't be the person that i am today and i think that that person is pretty fuckin sweet. I am who I am because of what i've been and what those people told me i could be. no questions. no regrets. thanks to everyone who had a part in my life in every minute leading up to right now. my hats off to you.

(I was listening to "Boston" by Augustana while writing this)

kids reveal the darndest things...

I'm trying to move all of my work to this blog so this is one that I wrote some time ago on my myspace blog. enjoi.

Go listen to 'Sea Breeze' by Tyrone Wells while reading this. It's what I was listening to while writing it. (www.myspace.com/tyronewells)

"These eyes have seen the most beautiful dream."

Why is it that everytime I find something that makes me happy it's at the most in-opportune time in my life. Just seems to be in the cards lately.

I'm ready to get back to school and be with other people who are ambitious about life and wondering what the next phase of their life is going to be. I'm tired of surrounding myself with people who all seem to know exactly what they want in life or know exactly where they're going and just wanna rub it in everyone elses faces.

I don't know what i wanna do with my life. In all seriousness I wanna grow up to be a kid. I've said it before but it's true. Nothing would make me happier than to be in a position where all I had to worry about was making my bed or eating my vegetables to make people happy.

Truth is that can't happen.

I guess that's why I continue to work with kids. They make me see the world from a completely different point of view. One that used to be so colorful and vibrant to me. A world where everyone was the same and if they weren't a simple question was all that was necessary to clear up any confusion. They don't know what calculus is, or what the square root of 144 is, or how many presidents were impeached.

To them this world is a great place to be in because they can wake up one day and be a power ranger or a firefighter or a doctor or a football player for their dad's favorite team.

For the first time in 5 years it's hit me why I choose to work for the youth bureau for a summer theatre program... because I get to teach kids how to be whatever they want in a setting where no one will critcize them for that. A place where people actually want to see them be whatever they want and be happy with that.

Life is too short to try and be the best you can be at something that you only think someone else wants you to be. So why not try and be something greater? Be something other than just an average person on the street. Make yourself into something that people will stop and take notice of. It's your life, why the hell not?

Go out there and make people believe that greatness can be found in anyone so long as they know how to pretend, because sometimes, if you try hard enough, whatever it is that you're pretending to be, just might be what you really are on the inside. And a great deal of the time, that's who you really are in the first place.

I'm gonna miss you kids... It's been a great ride. Thank you... for teaching me how to stay young... stay true... and most of all, stay me.

Take Me Back part 2

take me back to those autumn days,
the railroad tracks we'd line with change. sit in the swing and watch the leaves play chicken with the cars in the road-hear them yell, see them scatter. I want that feeling...of having the perfect sweater to defend your organs from the blasts of air preluding the time when the ground would be white... take me back...

Take Me Back

...to those days where passion, promise, and possibility cornerstoned a life filled with the opportunity for opportunity...not a life full of molds and hammers pounding me endlessly, trying to form me to those molds...to get me to be just another carbon copy of the best before me...let me breathe! let me think! let my thoughts and actions dictate my success! I am me...I am true....I am. Let me use my mind to create new ideas, not only to house those of others before me. Let me build upon this house...make it a mansion...then a castle...then a city....then a nation...of my own design; of my own...paradise. Let me...no....don't let me....I'll let me.

They get creative in Buffalo...

Irony

Love the color of the truck...

Odieritto. ¡Ole!

updates

so I have been absent from my writings for quite some time now and I promise I have a valid excuse... I'VE BEEN WORKING EVERY DAY NON-STOP... I'm not complaining about that however because, unlike my previous stint of employment, I'm actually getting money (wOOt!). It's not the most glorious work in the world but it is paying the bills so I guess it'll be fine until I can find something else.

I've been apartment hunting as well and after a few viewings and as many turn downs I'm feeling fairly confident that my next viewing on friday is going to go well so I'll keep you all posted.

Other than that not too much has been going on in my life so when something worth writing about or some picture worth posting comes about I'll be right on it.

peace