Self Pep Talk

Who brings this on but myself? I mean, there's absolutely no reason why I should have any feeling like this anywhere near my conscious being! What is it that makes me "think" that makes me "question" that makes me "reconsider" what I already know is right, good, happy....?! Why am I never content to take things as they are? To hear one thing and accept it for what it is when it is where it is how it is.... When did I become so.....concerned? No that's not the right word.....paranoid? No that can't be right either.........When did I become so......hmm...maybe paranoid is the right word...but not that severe. I have a great life and a great job and even though it doesn't pay me well it's something that makes me happy. I have a girlfriend who I love and who loves me very much in return. I have a family that loves me even more....I'm in good health.....a roof over my head....a bed to sleep in (two actually)...........................WHAT IS IT THEN!!! What is it that makes me feel sad, if I don't have something to say, something to add, something quick-witted and funny, something that will make everyone smile.......why does that bother me? When did I start caring? It's good to care, just not about things like that, and Trevor Wilson, Trevor Douglas Wilson has never given a crap about things like that because he is who he is, plays his little piano, sings his little songs.....I run this church for a logger.....Get over yourself kid! Start caring about not caring. Just be. Just.........live. For God's sake be you, and not the you that you think others want you to be. Be the fucking you that you've always been. That's all. Nuff said.