should old aquaintence be forgot...

I'm never drinking again... that's my new years resolution. Well...at least vodka and cranberry... and possibly whiskey sours... but I'll probably break that resolution because I'm a champion like that and give in to peer pressure way too easily. Go me.

...and for the record, Kenny G's version of Auld Lang Syne is the most depressing song when you're standing by yourself in the middle of a crowd of couples all embracing in the first moments of the new year.....maybe next year.

Sometimes my problems just seem so...fuckin' lame... PLEASE READ/WATCH

Have you ever felt like you just couldn't handle life's little problems. The price of gas is going up and that's cutting into your "new whatever" fund? Or that you just couldn't catch any breaks because you didn't have the money for a new ipod or cell phone or those sweet clothes you saw at whatever shop it is you shop at? Well how many times have you stopped to think of how much worse it could be in those moments? Probably not too many would be my guess, I'm just as guilty.

Well here's something that I hope will open the eyes of some of you out there. The link at the bottom of this post is to a video about one of my cousin's best friends. At least give it a look and if you still feel the need to complain about the cards you're dealt, then, well, I apologize.

http://www.clickorlando.com/problemsolvers/18156246/detail.html#video

son of a B Arthur

I've decided that I get way too angry over stupid little things lately and I need to do something about it. From now on, whenever I get overly angered by something really dumb I'm just going to recite in my head, "B-fuckin'-Arthur!!!!!" until I no longer feel upset.

I think everyone should have a favorite Golden Girls character to fuse with any curse word. It would make the world so much more... well... golden B)

holiday update

Ho ho holy crap there's a lot going on in my life lately and what better time than the holidays for that extra little dash of chaos. Apart from the typical "my job sucks" comments and blaming every bad thing on the economy, there's actually been quite a few new things to write about that I actually had the will to write about. For starters, my job does suck, but apparently I'm being promoted. All well and good right? Wrong. You see, promotions tend to lose their grandeur when someone else gets laid off in order for that to happen. And since I work in a place with fewer than 10 employees it makes it all the more difficult since we're all pretty close. So Merry Christmas to me... and all of the gut-wrenching, nerve-wrecking, God-awful horrible feelings that go along with feeling like I somehow had something to do with that decision even though I merely did my job to the best that I could and someone noticed. The commute is at least a little bit better now that I'm finally moved into the new place. Everything there seems to be going swell except I've decided that I need to start spending more on actual groceries than new and exciting beers that I discover in the alcohol jungle at Wegmans. As far as the holidays go, well let's just say that they seem to come and go as quickly as I seem to be getting older these days (which isn't that old but when you're in your twenties I guess you're gonna think that way). It doesn't help when the cousins start having children of there own and everyone starts looking in your direction to keep the ball rolling (note: children will not be in my plans for at least 30 more years). I suppose I got more than I asked for this year which isn't saying much since I never ask for anything. I seem to be more in the giving spirit these days than anything. It's much more satisfying to be able to help someone else who needs it more which I guess is why I organized a group effort among the co-workers to raise $470 for a co-worker with 4 children, who's wife doesn't work but who is in college, all funded by my friend who doesn't even have a vehicle to get himself to work...which by the way is an hour and a half from where he lives. So yeah, I guess I don't really have it as bad as I try and make myself believe sometimes. Well I suppose that's enough to get off my shoulders for now even though this was an extremely objective entry. Have no fear, as sure as the rain the rants will come.

a little different

It's been quite a long time since my last post and to all of my adoring fans I'm sincerely apologize. There have been many new and...well...new things going on in my life and I guess that's why I've decided to do this post a little differently than in the past. Rather than rambling on and on about some silly story that only I find amusing I'm going to instead list off some things that will hopefully fill in the blanks about the past couple months of my life.

Here goes...

I'm still working with the auction company and it's slightly less than unsatisfactory but my boss has told me that he wants to give me new responsibilities...eh, I adopted a kitty and named him General Tso, then changed his name to Kingsley Zissou, then back to General Tso (the SPCA loved that), I bought an iPhone and love everything about it except that you can't copy text, the buffalo bills were my heroes but have yet again found a way to make me realize why I watch hockey, I've decided that ice skating is a lot farther up on my list of things that make me happy, I'm still single...still, I'm moving to Buffalo, General Tso can't come with me :(, no new ink...yet, selling life insurance is sounding more and more appealing with every auction I work, I learned to drive a big black truck, I finally have health insurance again, Thanksgiving wasn't fun this year, I miss Maine, my guitar has too much dust on it and there's nothing I've been able to do about that, I'm thinking about joining a darts league, I wanna go back to school, Barack Obama IS my hero, my father had knee surgery, my mother didn't, I still can't find any good job listings for TV or film in the Buffalo area, did I mention I miss Maine...

Well.... I dunno how I feel about this style but I guess that will have to sufice for the time being until I can figure out a way to get Apple to give me a new computer for free. Until next time. GO BATMAN!!

gravity

so.... How's everyone been? I've been fairly absent from my writing schedule (that is if I had one and I mean fairly as in nonexistent) but I feel that the past however many weeks have been filled with enough excitement to crank out at least one paragraph. So as I sit here enjoying a killian's at my favorite bar the mood has struck me to write...and write I shall.

Things have slowly been working themselves back into some form of normal in the life category. I've finally settled in working at the auction house although the jury is still out on how long I plan on staying. The money is good and the work isn't mentally challenging so I really can't complain but with the gas that my car has been eating in order to get there has probably burnt an intricate hole in the ozone oddly shaped like my route to and from work...but I digress.

I've been finding myself in fred town more and more. I feel as though I left something here and I keep returning to see if maybe, by chance, I can find it and be on my merry way. I'm beginning to think that maybe what I'm missing is something that can't be found except sitting on this bar stool looking out onto the street or driving to the lake to sit on the pier and listen to the water at 2 in the morning. Maybe its something here that's pulling me back. Many words come to mind that try their best to define this feeling yet the only one that seems to shout a little louder above all is "comfortable".

This place is everything, period. So I guess until I can find that same gravity somewhere else...fred town it is.

let's just put it this way...

Yet another old blog from my myspace.

Sometimes... I seem to start every thought with 'sometimes' anymore. when i think about it though, sometimes doesn't really describe anything. sometimes is liking saying 'sometimes i breathe air' or 'sometimes i am a human' or 'sometimes i miss something' which is what this blog is about i guess. i don't sometimes miss being around my friends. i don't sometimes miss having that feeling of waking up to the sun shining in the window and looking out to see the ground covered in a blanket of cold white. i don't sometimes miss that feeling of having to wait for my parents to get out of bed before i can go into the living room to start looking for easter eggs. i don't sometimes wish that i was laying on the hood of my car at 2am with my guitar watching the night sky by myself. i don't sometimes wish that the biggest of my worries could yet again be whether or not i found a good enough stick to use as a sword while exploring the woods around my aunt's house during the summer. never do these thoughts sometimes cross my mind. never do i sometimes wish that i could take that trip again to thousand islands and go camping for a week waking up everyday to my father drinking his coffee watching the lake wash up on the shoreline and then see me and smile because i'm there enjoying the day with him. Never do i sometimes think about these things or sometimes wish i could do them again...i always think about them, i always wish for them. i'm not gonna try and make people feel sorry for me by saying how hard i had it growing up in an attempt to make them think i'm tough or that i'm stronger than them. my childhood was amazing and as much as i feel bad for those people that didn't have it so hot growing up, i'm not gonna regret telling the whole fucking world about how great mine was because in all honesty, if it wasn't for every single god damn thing that happened to me growing up where i did, when i did, how i did, and with who i did, i wouldn't be the person that i am today and i think that that person is pretty fuckin sweet. I am who I am because of what i've been and what those people told me i could be. no questions. no regrets. thanks to everyone who had a part in my life in every minute leading up to right now. my hats off to you.

(I was listening to "Boston" by Augustana while writing this)